March 14, 2010
A couple weeks ago, I was chatting with my coworkers about how guilty I felt over asking my best friends to shell out $200+ for dresses for my wedding. I mean, I know this is the way it happens, but I just couldn’t seem to keep the guilt at bay. One of my colleagues assured me that she had something that could assuage my guilt. She returned from lunch triumphantly clutching a book, which she thrust into my hands and encouraged me to read, “This will definitely make you feel better!” she said.
The book? Bad Bridesmaid: Bachelorette Brawls & Taffeta Tantrums — What We Go Through for Her Big Day by Siri Agrell.
I started the book a couple days later (it made for a good bit of fluff between a couple of nail biters: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and The Girl Who Played With Fire). And sure enough, I felt better.
Agrell tells the story of when she wrote a somewhat sarcastic column about being a bridesmaid and was subsequently kicked out of her close friend’s bridal party. Intrigued by this incident of bridal megalomania, Agrell talked to women across North America about the travesties they’d faced as bridesmaids — frankly, some of it was appalling, and it goes beyond ugly dresses.
Yes, believe it or not, it can get worse than those.
Examples, you say? Sure, how about the bride who offered to pick up the bridesmaid dress and courier it to her bridemaid’s home…only she wrote the address incorrectly on the package. When the wedding day rolled around and the bridesmaid was without anything to wear (due to the bride’s error), the bride wasn’t sympathetic. No. Instead she kicked her friend out of the bridal party.
Or, my personal favourite, the bride who decided she wanted to give every single guest at her wedding a one-of-a-kind hand painted rock (because that sounds like SUCH a fun favour, no?!) so she enlisted her bridemaids to sit in the sweltering heat of her backyard and paint 150 rocks with very specific design instructions for each one.
Another good one? the bride who, virtually seconds after the engagement ring was on her finger, sent her bridemaids a six page long list of their “duties,” which included picking her dress up from the dry cleaner’s the day after the wedding and addressing her thank you cards while she lazed on a beach on her honeymoon.
Suddenly the $200 dresses didn’t seem so bad to me!
Why is it that these women think their bridesmaids are their personal slaves? I invited my ladies (and bridesman) to be in my bridal party because I wanted to share a very important day with them. I want them to stand beside me when The Guy and I exchange our vows. But I certainly never banked on them doing chores for me (I’m pretty sure if I asked them to they’d tell me to snap out of it and get over myself).
Do you have a horror story from a time you were a bridesmaid? From the sounds of Bad Bridesmaid, most of us do!